Before I had my first son, I was determined to do everything by the book, including enforcing the best sleeping habits for my baby. Well I guess it would depend on what book you’re reading. But I was reading and hearing any and all horror stories possible about co-sleeping. Bottom line, it wasn’t going to be my “thing.”
My baby was born, and he went from his bassinet in my room to his crib in his own at exactly three months (okay, maybe 11 ½ weeks). As time sped on, the crib turned into the toddler bed and the toddler bed turned into the twin bed. He never asked to come into our bed unless he was sick or was having a bad dream. So obviously, I thought when my second son was born, I’d be following the same routine and it would all go exactly the same. WRONG!
Was it just me or was this baby EXTRA clingy? EXTRA needy? EXRTA cute? EXTRA squishy? And EXTRA (EXTRA) the last intentional child we would be conceiving? Yes, issues were present and still are. But most likely all of these issues or non-issues were my own; not his. And so the toddler bedtime wars began and unfortunately, still continue.
My toddler has done all of these and continues to do some of them STILL. Please tell me I’m not alone. PLEASE!
1. The up two times a night, TODDLER just to “walk me back to bed,” TODDLER.
2. The middle of the night creeping, TODDLER who wants to sleep in your bed ONLY, TODDLER.
3. The “I only want to sleep on your side of the bed,” TODDLER while putting you in a headlock,
4. The “I want to sleep with you,” TODDLER, but “don’t want you to touch me,” TODDLER.
5. The karate chop, dreaming, TODDLER who will make you a victim, TODDLER.
6. The sick, suffering, TODDLER who will make you suffer all night too, TODDLER.
7. The sleepwalking, TODDLER who will scare the shit out of you, TODDLER.
8. The sleep-talking, TODDLER who will make you think he’s possessed, TODDLER.
9. The constantly falling off the bed, TODDLER who will wake you up screaming, TODDLER.
10. The “I will try to come find you at 2AM,” TODDLER but gives up and falls asleep outside
your bedroom door, TODDLER.
11. The “I only want mommy,” TODDLER to tend to his all-night needs, TODDLER.
12. The “I’m scared,” TODDLER so he will sleep on top of you while you’re both drenched in sweat, TODDLER.
13. The sleeping 12 hours straight, TODDLER so you better get up to see if he’s still breathing,
Yea. Me too.
I’m EFFING TIRED.